Reflections on
the Life of
Madame Jeanne de la Mothe Guyon.
Visit to St. Cloud — Sorrow
If, under the impulse of an unsanctified curiosity, she gave an unguarded look, — if in a moment of temptation she uttered a hasty reply to the rebukes and accusations of others, (moral delinquencies which some might not regard as very great,) — she found that it cost her bitter tears. Even when she dispensed her munificent charity; which brought consolation to the poor and suffering, she sometimes found, with sorrow of heart, that the donation which ought to have been made with "a single eye," was corrupted by a glance at the rewards of self-complacency and of worldly applause.
"The God of love," she says, "so enlightened my heart, and so scrutinized its secret springs, that the smallest defects became exposed. In my conversation with others, I could often discover some secret motive which was evil, and was in consequence compelled to keep silence. And even my silence, when examined by the aid of the divine light, was not exempt from imperfection. If I was led to converse about myself, and said anything in my own favor, I discovered pride And I could not even walk the streets, without sometimes noticing in my movements the impulse of the life of self" She seemed to be in the condition described in the seventh chapter of Romans, — a description which will apply both to the struggles of the enlightened sinner when deeply convicted of his transgressions, and to the inward conflicts of the partially sanctified Christian. "I delight in the law of God after the inward man; but I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin."
"It must not, be supposed, however," she adds further, " that God suffered my faults to go unpunished. Oh, my God! — with what rigor dost thou punish the most faithful, the most loving and beloved of thy children! The anguish which the truly devout soul experiences, when it sees sin in itself, is inexpressible. The method which G0d takes inwardly to correct those whom he designs to purify radically and completely, must be felt, in order to be understood. The anguish of the soul, in consequence of its inward consciousness of failng to do its duty, can perhaps best be expressed by calling it a secret burning, — an internal fire. Or perhaps it may be compared to a dislocated joint, which is in incessant torment, until the bone is replaced. Sometimes such a soul is tempted to look to men and to seek consolation in the creature; but this is in violation of God's designs upon it, and it cannot in that way find any true rest. It is best to endure patiently, till God sees fit, in his own time and way, to remove the agony, and thus learn effectually the bitterness of transgression."
In this divided state of mind, continually striving for a better religious state, and yet continually faltering and failing in the resolutions she had most seriously made, she received an invitation to make one in a fashionable party to visit St. Cloud. This beautiful village, situated on the banks of the Seine, at the distance of only six miles from Paris, was then, as it is now, the resort of fashionable society. Celebrated for its natural scenery; its park, and the magnificent palace and gardens of the Duke of Orleans, it was the chosen spot for the residences of many families of wealth and taste. Without supposing that it had any connection with her present movements, it may be worthy of notice, that one of the country residences of the celebrated Comptroller Fouquet, — whose son many years afterwards married the second daughter of Madame Guyon, — was situated in this delightful place. It happened that other ladies, with whom she was well acquainted, were invited to the festival; and it would seem that their solicitations were employed to induce her to go with them. She yielded to them, but not with out condemning herself for doing it.
"I went," she says "through a spirit of weak compliance, and from the impulse of vanity. Everything connected with the entertainment which was given us, was magnificent. It was an occasion especially adapted to meet the wants and views of the votaries of worldly pleasure. The ladies who attended me, wise in worldly wisdom, but not in the things of religion, relished it. But as for me, it filled me with bitterness. I pleased others; but I offended Him whom I ought most to have pleased. Rich were the tables that were spread, but I could eat nothing. The sounds of festivity and joy arose on every side; but it was not possible for me to enjoy anything. Pleasure shone in the looks of other visitants, but sorrow was written upon mine. Oh, what tears did this false step cost me! My Beloved was offended. For above three long months he withdrew entirely the favors of his presence. I could see nothing but an angry God before me."The good of others, who may read this account, makes it proper to say, that there was one important lesson which she learned from these temptations and follies, — a lesson as important, as any which the nature of the. Christian life renders indispensable, that of her entire dependence on divine grace "I became,".she says ".deeply assured of what the prophet hath said, 'Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain!' When I looked to Thee, O my Lord! thou wast my faithful keeper; thou didst continually defend my heart against all kinds of enemies. But, alas!. when left to myself, I was all weakness. How easily did my enemies prevail over me! Let others ascribe their victories to their own fidelity. ' As for myself, I shall never attribute them to 'anything else than Thy paternal care over me. I have too often experienced, to my cost, what I should be without Thee, to presume in the least.on any wisdom or efforts of my own. It is to Thee, O God, my Deliverer, that I owe everything! And it is a source of infinite satisfaction, that I am thus indebted to Thee."
It is not surprising, that she now found it necessary to pause and refiect. From this time, she gave her mind to the great subject of holy living, with a deep and solemn earnestness, which she had never experienced before. She began to realize the tremendous import of those solemn words of the Saviour, (words which have an import that is not generally understood, though it is not possible that their meaning should always be hidden, ) "No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other; or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon."
— edited from The Life of Madame Guyon (1877), Volume 1, Chapter 9.
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