The Social Tendency

The social tendency, another strong Propensive principle, requires to be sanctified. Man does not and cannot regulate, as he ought to regulate, his intercourse with his fellow-men, without faith in God. 

He must have faith in something. And, so far as we can judge in the case, it is obviously a law of his nature, that he will attach to men all that faith, which he withdraws from God. Without faith in God, he will be likely in many cases to make his fellow-men the object of his idolatry; and will bestow upon them, unwisely and wickedly, that confidence and affection, which ought to be given somewhere else. 

Or it may be that without faith in God, he may make himself the object of his idolatry, and may thus in some cases not only withhold from God what is due to him, but may also withhold a proper degree of social interest in those around him. 

Whether we seek the society of others too much, or avoid it too much, we shall find in either case, that the evil influences of selfishness are at the bottom, and that we are violating a moral and religious duty. Faith, which in its applications and results makes us do what God would have us do, furnishes, in this case as in others, the only safe regulating principle.

— edited from The Life of Faith, Part 2, Chapter 5.

 

The Solitary Tear

It is reasonable to suppose, that a holy soul, one that has experienced the richness of sanctifying grace, will oftentimes be much afflicted in consequence of not finding in others a spirit corresponding to its own. In the present state of the world, when practical holiness is but partially understood and still less realized, such a soul, although the social principle remains strong in it, is necessarily solitary to a considerable degree. How can it enter with spirit and eagerness into worldly conversation? How can it participate with any degree of relish in vain worldly amusements and pleasures? Such souls are sometimes borne down with the desire of imparting to others the spiritual tidings, which God has inwardly communicated to them.  But they find few, and perhaps none, that are ready and willing to hear them. And thus they sit alone in secret places, and shed in silence the solitary tear.

— from The Interior or Hidden Life (1844) Part 2, Chapter 12.

Socializing as Christians

It is obvious, that the claims of society can never be allowed to go so far as to interfere with and prejudice the claims of religion at the very time of social intercourse. In other words, we should always so conduct, when we mingle socially with our fellow men, that we may be known as religious persons, not merely by special acts of religion, but in our general manner. And it seems to us, that this desirable result may be secured, in consistency with a suitable regard to modesty of deportment; Men generally possess a prompt and almost instinctive power of interpretation on the subject of moral and religious character. If we truly possess religion, they will see it and know it. There is a calmness and propriety of manners on the part of truly holy persons; a placidity of countenance; a freedom from exaggeration and over-urgency; a modesty, and a sincere good-will to others, whatever may be their characters; a conscientious regard for truth and justice; a forbearance under ill-treatment and injury; a seriousness which is the opposite of foolish talking and jesting; an interest in whatever has relation to the claims of virtue and religion, which, taken together, and aided perhaps by other indications not less favorable, furnish significant DATA to those who behold them; and which cannot fail to stamp the character as religious without the formality of a specific declaration.

— from The Interior or Hidden Life (1844) Part 2, Chapter 6.

Christians Socialize to do Good

The desire of society is natural; and the pleasure which results from it, when its object is secured, is oftentimes very great. But acting on religious principles, and with a view to God's glory, it is obvious that we must mingle in society, not only to enjoy happiness, but to do good and even to suffer.

If one motive with the holy person in mingling with society is to do good, we shall beware how we yield to our own choice. The life of nature would lead us to seek the company of the well informed, the wealthy, and the honorable; but the life of God in the soul, in connection with the safe rule of his blessed Providences, and in imitation of the Savior's example, will lead us among the poor and sick, the degraded and the sinful. But this is not all. We are not only called to do good in this way; but are sometimes called, as already intimated, even to endure and to suffer. When we mingle in society, we mingle with men; men, who are beset with many and trying infirmities, and who often show their weaknesses and errors, saying nothing of positive transgressions, both in manner and in language. As those, who seek to be wholly the Lord's, we are bound to endure the troubles, which result from this source, with entire meekness and patience. Not to bear meekly and patiently with those imperfections of others, sometimes greater and sometimes less, which we must always expect to encounter when we associate with them, would be a sad evidence of our own imperfection.

We are sometimes severely tried, even when we are in the company of truly devout and holy persons. Such persons may at times entertain peculiar views, with which we cannot fully sympathize; and may occasionally exhibit, notwithstanding the purity and love of their hearts, imperfections of judgment and of outward manner, which are exceedingly trying. These also are to be patiently and kindly borne with.

— from The Interior or Hidden Life (1844) Part 2, Chapter 6.

Solitary Communion with God as a Means to Regulalting the Social Instinct

The social principle, like others, may become inordinate in its action. In the natural life, in distinction from the regenerated or sanctified life, every thing runs to excess, in consequence of the prevalence of selfishness and the absence of the love of God. And thus the social principle, implanted originally for a good end, may become, as in point of fact it often does become, more or less excessive and vicious in its operation. In what way then, shall the discharge of the duty of social intercourse be regulated, so that the divine blessing may rest upon it? In reply to this question it may be admitted, that it is neither easy nor safe to lay down specific rules applicable in all cases. It is obvious that what would be right and proper under some circumstances, would be inexcusable under others. It is perhaps best, therefore, that the conduct of each individual should be left to be regulated by the decisions of a sound and consecrated discretion, made in view of the circumstances of each occasion as it arises.

In all ordinary cases, however, it may be safely said, that some portion of each day, and especially a portion at the commencement of the day, should be devoted to solitary communion with God. The soul needs the resources and refreshment of such seasons of sacred retirement, in order to put itself into a situation to meet those trials of its faith and patience, which are incidental even to social intercourse.— Nor is this all. We should also have seasons of special religious recollection, while we are acting in and with society, in which we may turn our thoughts inward and upward; to the state of our own hearts on the one hand, and to God as the true source of wisdom and support on the other. Many pious persons have found this practice very important to them. It is said of Fénelon, in connection with the numerous claims of society upon him, claims which he promptly met with admirable condescension and wisdom, that he nourished the inward divine life, even in the midst of such multiplied interruptions, by praying "in the deep retirement of internal solitude."

— from The Interior or Hidden Life (1844) Part 2, Chapter 6.